


What's in a Name?

by Pastel_Teacups



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Not Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 19:32:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5510342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastel_Teacups/pseuds/Pastel_Teacups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six times Finn's name is important.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's in a Name?

“What is my name?” FN-218 asks, small and shy but still curious, still a child who is unaware of his place in the galaxy. 

The Storm Trooper he is asking, even with their helmet on and their face obscured, looks disapproving. “You do not have a name, you have an identification number. It’s FN-2187.” 

They sound harsh, domineering, and though he has more questions FN-2187 only toddles back to his seat in the center of the room, eyes turning back to some boring “educational” holovid. 

Names. He could be wrong, but distantly he feels as if names were meant to be had, that a long time ago everybody had one. But perhaps he is mistaken. 

\----

Conditioning, by far, is pain unlike anything FN-2187 has ever experienced before. 

He’s still young, only ten, too smart to be curious anymore but too foolish to avoid conditioning. 

The promising children didn’t _need_ conditioning. 

Everybody else does. 

Questions with impossible answers are asked, and every time he can’t quite reach one of them a shock runs through him, shaking him, and with every passing moment he feels more and more desperate to die. 

Along the way the shocks stop, and they begin to hit him. 

“What’s your name?” 

He’s bleeding, from his lip, and though he’s trying _so hard_ to be strong tears are slipping down his cheeks and onto his chest, his arms, his strapped-down wrists. 

He wants to say something, though he doesn’t know what. He feels as though he used to have a _real_ name, once upon a time, but whatever it was has long been forgotten.

Another blow lands at his head, something a little harder than a hand this time, drawing him out of his lost thoughts. 

“FN-2187.” He says finally, and it’s the only question he gets right. 

\----

“Hey, what’s your name?” 

“FN-2187.” 

“F--what?” 

It’s the first time anyone has spoken to him like he was a person, not a number, and the first time since his conditioning that he remembers names _are_ real, personal means of identity that made you _you._

“It’s the only name they ever gave me.” 

“Well, I ain’t using it. FN, huh? Finn, I’m gonna call you Finn. Is that alright?” 

A name. He’s a _person_ , now, and this name only seals the idea. He’s _real_. And he’s _free_. 

“Yeah, Finn. I like that.”

\----

“Poe?” 

The name is spoken groggily, voice rough from lack of use, and when the owner of the name looks up his eyes are bright and his mouth curves into a blinding smile. 

“Hey, Finn. How are you feeling?” 

All at once Finn feels the pain, radiating from his back and shoulder, but he also feels Poe’s hand resting atop his and that makes it a little more bearable. Hesitantly he replies, unsure of himself, the permanence of his new life settling in. 

“Alright. What happened - is Rey - are you-” 

“We’re all fine.” Poe confirms, smiling, clearly ecstatic to see that Finn has woken. “Everyone was way more worried about you, really.” 

“Why?” He asks, making an attempt to sit up. He doesn’t make it very far. 

Poe’s smile fades, just a little. “You were out for a month.” 

Finn’s stomach drops, for some reason. An entire _month_ of his life, stripped away. “Oh.” 

Poe squeezes his hand reassuringly. “It’s alright. I’ll fill you in.” 

Poe will fill in the blanks. He can help. 

Finn is lucky to have him. 

\----

“Finn? Finn, wake up.” 

There’s a hand on his shoulder, and once he’s conscious he realizes it’s Poe’s, not a commanding officer, and he’s in their room, not being marched to reconditioning. 

He’s gasping, and he’s shaking. 

His name. 

He has a name now. He’s not FN-2187. He’s Finn. 

In the end-all, it’s his name that pulls him out of the dream, out of the belief that the First Order got him. 

And Poe, who draws him tight to his chest, anchors him to this world and not the world of the First Order. He’s safe here. He’s alright. 

“Poe?” 

“Yeah, Finn?” 

“I love you.”

Poe holds on a little tighter. “I love you, too.” He replies without hesitance, looking down at Finn. “I always will.” 

\----

“Poe!” 

“Finn-” 

The comms go out, but the wreckage is close enough that Finn reaches it in less than a minute. 

The ship is in flames. Finn doesn’t care, dives in anyways as he tries to get to _him_. 

It’s almost ironic, that _his_ name would be Poe’s last word. 

His body is still in the pilot’s chair, and as Finn unbuckles him and drags him out and onto the ground mere feet from the broken X-Wing he smells the smoke in his hair and feels the limpness in his form as Finn cradles his cold body in his arms. 

He’s gone. 

Finn screams, sobs, shakes Poe’s shoulders in desperation until somebody pulls him away. 

Medical takes his vitals. 

They call the time. 

All Finn feels is pain.


End file.
